so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
