Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic