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I'm eating all of the evidence.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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