he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?