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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  followup question: what if both somones were me?

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.

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• (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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• (415): View more from California

  There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

  (415): View more from California

  No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?

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