i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
