i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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