We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
