She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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