Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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