is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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