i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
