It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
