last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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