his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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