he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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