OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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