i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
