i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
