Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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