Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
