let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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