shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?