I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.