Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
