We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
