She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
