tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
