she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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