idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
