my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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