i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
