i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How does one acquire holy water?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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