whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
