Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
