I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
