Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
