I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
