Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
