She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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