your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm jealous of your bromance
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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