she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
