i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
