He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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