I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
