The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Help. Why am I so naked?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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