I got her a Nickelback box set.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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