my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
