who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
