You can't motorboat a personality
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need to sanitize my soul.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
