If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
its liver damage thursday
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
