ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize