we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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