I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
