ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Randomize
