My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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