i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
