Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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