Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
