A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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